I haven't mentioned much about him, since I didn't want to really jinx anything, but Jennifer's uncle, Jerry, had lung cancer for the last 6-8 months or so. Jerry had been fighting the cancer over that time, taking chemotherapy treatments over that time, until his body just basically gave out. Over the last two months, the doctors have been trying to clear out fluid that has been building up around his heart and in his lungs so they could continue to give him treatments, however, they were unable to keep the fluid out for any decent length of time. We slowly watched the cancer overtake Jerry, making him thin, taking away his appetite and energy, and finally, him.. I have to say that I will miss Jerry dearly. He was a good man and I believe that he was taken too young. Jerry and his wife were both instrumental in my recovery, as they were always there for both myself, and Jennifer as we toiled through my recovery. I find it ironically unfair that one of the people who was there for me was taken by the very thing that he helped me recover from. I know that the family will all miss Jerry for their own specific reasons, some common, and some uncommon. Personally, I will miss Jerry because he was someone who would have given you the shirt off his back to help out. He was also someone who I had a good deal in common with, aside from cancer. We both liked baseball quite a bit, and even though we both rooted for different teams, it never took away from the experience of just sitting down in the living room and watching a good game on a summer afternoon. All in all, he was a good man. I have never been much of a fan of goodbyes, even in this case. So no goodbyes, Jerry, just good journeys. All of us here will continue to love you and as long as you're in our hearts, you are not gone, just on your own adventure that we will join you on some day. Until that day comes, take care, dear friend, and thanks for the memories.

So there is 3 weeks left to go until my final quarterly checkup.. I have to say that I am anxious yet excited about the prospect. It will be great to have all of this over and done with. I can get to a point where I only freak out every 6 months rather than every 3. :)

 

On a sadder note, Jennifer's uncle has been given 8-12 months to live after going through nearly 6 months of treatment for lung cancer. I seriously feel bad about this whole thing. Jerry and his wife both watched me go through what I went through and supported my fight and at this point, I feel that it should be me with this, not Jerry. I just hope that he can prove the doctors wrong and beat this thing.

 

I guess that I am going to kinda wander around with this, cuz now I am going to talk about Ryan. That little boy amazes me. He gets bigger by the minute and if you were to tell me even a week ago that he would be the size that he is now, I would say that you were wrong. He's a really good baby too. He doesn't do much fussing except when his teeth coming through starts hurting him, and he is always good for a few smiles and giggles. I will truly miss it when this time comes to an end. Right now, I am looking at a picture of him laying on my chest when he was a few weeks old. I am just amazed at how little he really was. If he layed like that right now, I would probably be getting headbutted from all sides.

 

I suppose that I should get myself back to work, so until next time..

Well, it has been a few weeks into my dieting and while I have had an occasional cheat or two, things seem to be going forward. My pants fit for the first time in about 12 months or so. I guess that the real proof is going to come when I go for my next exam next month. I have to say that I am really getting anxious this time around. I am getting so close to "out of the woods" and I so badly want this whole ordeal with cancer to be over.. but yet I know that it never will be..

Well, I have finally decided that it's about time to shed some of the weight that I picked up in the time that I was on chemo. In looking at different diets that were available, I did happen to find one where I didn't have to do any counting or tracking, which works perfect for me, since my brain isn't always where it should be when I get hungry. I've been given a list of what I can and can't eat and told that most of those items I can have as much as I want as long as I am not eating until I get stuffed. To this point, after a few days, I must say that it's a pain in the butt because I lose many of the foods that I really like, but I guess that those were the foods that got me to this point anyway right? :) At least I have some support with the diet so that I am not doing it all alone. Jen said that she wanted to lose the baby weight from when she was pregnant, so hopefully all goes well for both of us and we don't kill each other before we get through the diet. :)

So I have officially passed the two year point from when my treatments started (actually, that would have been back on Labor Day, but I have been kinda preoccupied with life). It feels good to still be around to enjoy things like my kids, family, and friends. One of the few memories that I have of that Labor Day weekend was sitting in the hospital with Jen, and my mom, just waiting to get my first treatment. It was then that I realized the strength my mom had. It was that same holiday many years ago that my brother passed on, and here mom is, sitting next to me trying to keep *me* strong. A time where she could have just been crying her eyes out, worried that she was about to lose her only remaining child, but she didn't. I have no idea where she came up with the strength to live through that moment. Personally, if either one of my kids was taken out of my life, for whatever reason, I am not sure that I would be able to survive.

 

On another note, work is going really well. We just went to our new training schedule, which I had been watiing for over the last few weeks, and I must say that I really enjoy the structure that we have put in place. It makes scheduling my day much easier, keeps me busy pretty much throughout the day, and allows me to do more of what I enjoy. So with that, I will end this chapter of my blog, but I should be back to make regular updates really soon. Since everything seems to be calming down at home, I may have some time on my hands. :)